New Portland Scene & Racial/Cultural Implications/Frustrations

After living in the Portland area for six weeks and gradually adjusting to my new life, I am finally sinking my teeth in, and feeling like I am home. At the same time, given my increased comfort, I am beginning to look at my life here with a bit of a critical racial lens – and I can’t say that I am astonished by my observations, but to put things lightly, I am uncomfortable, a little frustrated, and unsure of my next move!

Right now, my life consists of doing ‘a little’ of a lot of things in order to support myself, and fulfill all graduate school responsibilities. My schedule on any given week is a combination of the following obligations (among other, informal things):

1.) Classes at USM

2.) Internship at Milestone Detox (Counseling)

3.) Produce/Deli Specialist at Rosemont (Yarmouth)

This is all fine and good! I am extremely busy, fulfilled, and happy. Gradually, however, (now that the “overwhelming newness” factor is beginning to subside) I have become acutely aware of something extremely alarming: In every aspect of my new life here (with few acceptations) I interact with exclusively white people.

My new peer group is predominantly white. At Milestone, while completing the Learning Contract with my supervisor, when asked to describe target behaviors for addressing diversity in the workplace, my response was 90% hypothetical, given that the population that comes through that particular detox facility is 90% white. During my time there, I have encountered a maximum of five non-white individuals. At Rosemont (which for the record I now see as a grocery store tailored exclusively to upper class folks… I work there, and sadly cannot afford to shop there …along with the entirety of the all white staff) I have observed one non-white individual in an entire month of employment (weekends only).

My life in Portland pales in comparison to the cultural richness I was a part of in Boston. My close friends and colleagues were of varied cultural decent, my students were from all over the globe allowing me the opportunity to communicate with them in Spanish/their native languages when appropriate. Out of necessity, I navigated situations involving the cultural unknown constantly – part of this was in my control, and part of it is the nature and demographic of those living in the Allston, MA area.

The messages of others like Carrie Ching, student author of the essay, “Personal Voices: Facing Up to Race” (2014) ring out loud and clear to me. According to Ching, “It’s time to face the fact that the small, unconscious choices we make in our private lives – like who we feel safe sitting next to on the bus, who we choose to be our colleagues at work, and yes, even who we choose as our intimate friends and lovers – become the blueprints for the shape and color of our society as a whole.” I could not agree with her more, and look at the unconscious choices I have made, and the life I have created here. I feel compelled to change this in some way, but how can I do that in such a way that is authentic for me? I am definitely longing for a more diverse balance in my life here, but what would that look like? In this new experience, am I operating solely on the basis of comfort? If I was doing something else, would I feel genuine? Right now, I don’t have answers to these questions – but I am internally wrestling.

Reference:

Rothenberg, P.S (2014). Race, class, and gender in the United States: An

integrated study. New York: St. Martin’s Press.